8 May 2010

"I'm B cup!"

Sometimes I feel sorry for blokes. I've been told by male friends that women can chat up and pull who ever they want where as it's a lot harder for a man. I suppose that's why some unlucky-in-love bloke invented the Chat up line. I'll warn you now that some are little rude, (well they are invented by blokes!) so if you are easily offended I will apologise now. Here goes....

10. “Do you come here often?”
This doesn't sound like a chat up line however when said to a woman, by a man, in a bar it is usually said very slurred, while the bloke proceeds to look down the woman's top. Usually it is a chat up line, however, the other weekend I was introduced to two of my sisters colleagues from work and for lack of conversation I asked, "Do you come here often" and instantly went bright red because I realised they thought it was a line! It honestly wasn't...

9. “You have the most beautiful eyes”
Please note: men usually cover up what they are thinking with other words. Eyes, in this case means breasts and it means the bloke wants to jump into bed with you at the first chance he has. Don’t fall for it, unless your husband/boyfriend says it to you. A good comeback is “…..shame I can’t say the same for you”. 

8. “Get your coat you’ve pulled”, “Here’s ten pence, go call home and say you’re not going to be home tonight.”
Pleeeeeeaaaase!!! I’ve never heard this one but have been told about it. How full of yourself would you have to be to say this to someone? If someone ever said this one to me I’d simply reply “NO”. 

7. “Are you tired? You’ve been running through my mind all day?”
This is quite sweet and my ex boyfriend said this to me before when we were together. But if you don’t know a bloke and they say this to you then it is the cheesiest thing you will ever hear! 

6. “You’re dad should be arrested, he stole the stars and put them in your eyes”
Again quite sweet but remember what I said about eyes. This one basically means “Nice pair of breasts”

5. “I may not be Fred Flintstone but I’ll make your bed rock any day”
Just pray that they day never comes! 

4. “What do you want for breakfast in the morning”
This is very full of it. Another variation is “How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled, boiled or fertilized?” Just walk away!

3. “If your left thigh was breakfast and your right thigh was dinner could I eat between meals?”
This would make you throw up if a man said it to you. Enough said I think! 

2. “Alright treacle”, “You’re a bit of a sausage”, “Nice breasts”
There may be variations depending on your region but I come from Essex (no jokes please) and this is what you hear towards the end of the night when a man has had way too much t drink.

1.“My love for you is like diarreah, I just can’t hold it in”
EEEuuuuuugggghh! This is my favourite, I’ve never heard it before but read it on a jokes website and it’s now going round my college because it’s the funniest thing any of us have ever heard. 

There you have the Top 10 chat up lines, or the worst ones anyhow. Thanks for reading and if you have any good ones let me know.

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